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 Post subject: the Lord's second flood
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 1:34 pm 
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In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah, Who was now living in America and said:
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
"Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
"You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark."Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."
"I needed a Building Permit."
"I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system."
"My homeowners association claim that I've violated the
Neighborhood by-laws by building the Ark in my back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision."
"Then the City Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it."
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl."
"I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"
"When I started gathering the animals, PETA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."
"Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood."
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."
"The Immigration Dept. Is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work."
"The labor unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with ark-building experience."
"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark."
"Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky."
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord. " The Government beat me to it."

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 2:26 pm 
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The very reason I moved away from a HOA neighborhood and into an unincorporated part of San Diego County.

One more level of "government" with people who have no idea what the hell they're doing.

Had a few instances of confronting the idiots with clipboards in the street front of my house taking their notes for the next "meeting".

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 5:51 pm 
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I could smell that punchline a mile away. For some reason, to me, a conservative joke is about as funny as a fourth grader's joke.

I may be wrong on this, but my feeling is that our government is made up of elected officials; so if our government is destroying the country/world isn't it we that are destroying the country/world?

If A=B and B=C, then A=C

???


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 9:06 pm 
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dingus kong wrote:
I could smell that punchline a mile away. For some reason, to me, a conservative joke is about as funny as a fourth grader's joke.

I may be wrong on this, but my feeling is that our government is made up of elected officials; so if our government is destroying the country/world isn't it we that are destroying the country/world?

If A=B and B=C, then A=C

???



fuckin asshole...you could have just laughed.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 10:24 pm 
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:lol: :lol: :cheers:
This is how I was feeling by the end of work today:


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