I know, I know... you've already looked at the pictures and were like DAAAAAAAMMMMMNNNNN! It's ok.... I get that a lot. And soon, you will to! What you are now drooling over is a near perfectly preserved 2000 Bayliner Capri 2050. Just let that soak in for a moment. Let it marinade... Yes, it's true. I have one. And it's cherry. And lucky for you, it's for sale, right here on THIS planet! What does this mean to you? I means that for 8 grand ( or 32,000 quarters ) you could be the next Captain of the Good Ship Badass. With a 5 liter MerCruiser engine propelling you across the water like a greased up porpoise made out of pure testosterone, the ladies will flock to you like you cry diamonds and piss chocolate. It has so much Style, Kim Kardashian would wear it, if only her ass would fit in it. It has so many amenities and technical doo-dads, fighter pilots are all like " WTF?" It even has enough power to make a Black woman stop talking during a movie. Yeah... I know, right? You take a ride like this out on the Bay this Summer, and San Diego City Hall is likely to pass legislation making bikini tops illegal within 100 feet of you. I'm not kidding folks, this boat is like the exact opposite of a restraining order.

In fact, this boat is such a bootie magnet, I won't even sell it to a married guy. It's THAT powerful, and I don't want that kind of karma bothering me at night.

The details... This boat was made right here in the gool ol' US of Northern Mexico, painstakingly handcrafted by people who know how to painstakingly handcraft this kind of shit. It's a 2000 model, which I purchased new as part of a NASA experiment to study just how far away pure awesome could still be measured. And you thought the Mars rover was so we could check out Mars? Pfffft.

What comes with it? A music player that plays CDs. For those of you Generation Z'ers, this stands for compact discs... you know... like your X-Box games? It also comes with a tower, rope, and a big flat floating tube, so you can haul extra poonanny-stank around on those really big weekends.

It also comes with a galvanized trailer, so that when you aren't showing off on the water, you can be showing off in your driveway, making every other male in your neighborhood instantly turn Beta.

Why am I selling it? Honestly, because it's given me many many good years, and I've been advised by my doctor that if I keep having sex with random hotties at this rate, I am going to die early.... because eventually my wife is gonna find out. So, my loss is your gain. Just be responsible, you future heart-breaker you!

Lastly, remember. the best two days of boat ownership are the day you buy it, and the say you sell it.... said NO BOAT OWNER EVER!
Location: Bayliner Capri 2050
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Posting ID: 3811820386 Posted: 2013-05-17, 2:10PM PDT email to a friend